Pirate Fiction Fan Gifts

'I bought him from a sailor!'

'New affirmative action rules, boys -- we have to hire some Somalis.'

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

Pirate

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Piracy on a boating lake

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

The Dubloon Stops Here

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Are we there yet?'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

Treasure Island Book.

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

"Shall I let them breathe."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

Pirate