Reading Myths Gifts

"I am the Lady of the Lake, and because thou hast defiled my crystal waters I must hence smite thee. That or penalize thee a stroke. Your call."

"...before we hire you for this position, Frank, we'd like you to perform one more task."

'Be honest Adam, do these leaves make me look fat?'

'Okay, what's your third wish?'

"Look, we're three thousand years old. No one's going to hire us."

On Its Way To Mohammed. . . The Mountain Drops In On Tom.

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, open sesame!"

"I thought they were only an urban legend."

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

Goliath's Toe Truck

"It's me, Sisyphus . . . Honey, I have to work overtime . . . "

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Anti-Agent

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Occu-Pie Mars

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Staff support"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author