Reading Mythology Gifts

The Cornucopia Trap

'I guess business experience counts for more than we thought'

'Hi, my name is Daniel.' 'And I am Thor,' thinks his penis.

'Unbelievable, you can destroy the universe with a single blow...'

Achilles Goes to the Podiatrist

Garden of Eden: Director's Cut

"You should stop identifying yourself as a Berserker. You're just someone who, at times, feels an inclination toward berserking."

Shepherd and eurydice

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Vlad the Impala

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Venus

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Toadstools

Vlad the Inhaler

Lady of the bath...

Here be dragons.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

"Bigfoot"

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

Warrior Woman

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Archimedes helps Sisyphus