Reading Mythology Pillows

The Cornucopia Trap

'Hi, my name is Daniel.' 'And I am Thor,' thinks his penis.

'Unbelievable, you can destroy the universe with a single blow...'

Achilles Goes to the Podiatrist

Garden of Eden: Director's Cut

Shepherd and eurydice

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Toadstools

Vlad the Impala

Venus

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Vlad the Inhaler

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Lady of the bath...

Here be dragons.

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Wotan with eye patch

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Neptune

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Warrior Woman

"Recalculating route..."

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."