Reading Gossip Columns Prints

Charlie Sheen

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'She's so put together!'

A little bird told me...

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

Weditorials

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'Botox...'

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

Pie chart of pub conversations

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

The Original Gossip Columns

Stable boys and Scottsman

'Never mind that you could have bought Microsoft years ago - I could have married Bill Gates,'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"Legs up to here!"

'Just a minute, girls, while I get rid of an eavesdropper.'