Celebrity Gossip Columnist Prints

The Dark Side of High-Definition TV

Rich Cow: 'Michael Jackson'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Meanwhile in Hollywood

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Tom Hanks

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."

Hollywood Breakup

JET (Part I)

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

“So let me get this straight: George Clooney isn’t your leader?”

John Stride

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

Larry King

Wayne and Kerry created a joint name like their idols Brangelina and Tomkat.

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Weditorials

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

Whoopie Goldberg

Good Morning Britain

To Get Pardoned by Trump, Become a Celeb

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

'Oh no! Political memoirs!'

'We know you are a serious actress..'