Celebrity Gossip Critic Prints

"And to think I fought the punk wars for this!!"

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Meanwhile in Hollywood

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

Tom Hanks

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

Hollywood Breakup

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

JET (Part I)

Larry King

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Weditorials

“So let me get this straight: George Clooney isn’t your leader?”

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

John Stride

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'We know you are a serious actress..'

'Reports of my abstinence have been slightly exaggerated. . . I read somewhere that smoking and drinking are bad for you. . . so I gave up reading.'

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.

Whoopie Goldberg

To Get Pardoned by Trump, Become a Celeb

Walken On Clouds

Good Morning Britain

'Oh no! Political memoirs!'

Emily Ratajkowski

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Groupeé? You can call me "Booster." Dr. Noodle. Hey, who was that who just left your office? Was that that historian I saw on TV? Herodotus Jenkins? I can't say. He's the best. He come here this time every week? I can't say. And who's that out in the waiting room? Is that Brock Manly of "Fast & Furious 12" fame? I can't say. What brings you here? I heard you treat all the famous people. I just thought it might be nice to know the rich and famous are as messed up a

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'