Gossip Critic Prints

Sick, Disgusting, Here It Is

Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Bruce Jenner. Specifically, we'll be asking why the #$%@ should any of us care whether Bruce wears tighty-whities or frilly-lillies? Mind your own business, America!!! For the next three hours, we'll be talking trash about the people who can't stop talking about Bruce Jenner.

'It's a shocker - he was caught having a quiet night in with a mug of Horlicks.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'She's so put together!'

Annual run-off at the mouth.

A little bird told me...

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Men gossiping

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"If you have any gossip, tell me now - she could come back ay second."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

JET (Part I)

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"Can you keep a secret?"

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Water cooler talk stations."

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."