Reading Celebrity Biographies Gifts

Oprah talks in her sleep...

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Meanwhile in Hollywood

The americanisation of vulture.

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

Little Red Riding Carpet

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

John F. Kennedy

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

What do you say we team up to star in a sequel to "The Elephant Man" called "The Wolverine Boy"? !

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington should write a book about you!"

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

My Spam Sketchbook

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

People leave joke shop with false moustache, nose and glasses marketed as 'the Robert Winston'.

Charlotte Rampling

David Bowie

'I'm studying how other geniuses handled creative blocks.'

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

John Stride

Weditorials

Writers wait in their area of expertise.