Reading About Business Gifts

"Personally, I think Eddie's got something on old B.I."

'Motivation is critical to success in this company!. . . We prefer the 'carrot' to the 'stick', though. Ha, ha, ha. . . Work harder, b*tch!'

"I don't understand why our retention rates are so poor... we give staff challenging, important work."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

The little engine that could delegate.

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

Business man reading 'Thinking Outside the Chair'

New must reading for the rising executive: '7 Habits of Highly Obsequious People.'

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

'Fortunately I'm a big guy.'

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

'It's good, but it's not good-to-go.'

"On the plus side, you're on the cover of all the major business publications."

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

Two businessmen competing.

Paradigm shifters company.

My, my, we're justs a little overprotective of our propriety knowledge, aren't we?

'No wonder the company is in trouble!'

"I can fit you into a small cubicle on the third floor if you think you can lose twenty pounds."

"Take my advice. I don't use it anyway."

'Looks like the cable merger is concentrating too much market in one telecommunications giant.'

'How's business? Still slow?'

'I just wish, he had been more direct...

"We're very sorry, Templeton."

'Anxiety drugs are driving up big pharma stocks, thanks to global armed conflict!'

'Instead of a bedtime story, I'm going to read you my company's report for the third quarter.'

"My greatest asset is my ability to tell you exactly what you want to hear."

The market must be up

"Competence? Education? Knowledge? Nonsense! What you really need the most to get promoted is a big pack of lubrication cream!"

Staff Rereads Dale Carnegie!