Reading About Business Mugs

"Personally, I think Eddie's got something on old B.I."

'Motivation is critical to success in this company!. . . We prefer the 'carrot' to the 'stick', though. Ha, ha, ha. . . Work harder, b*tch!'

"I don't understand why our retention rates are so poor... we give staff challenging, important work."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

The little engine that could delegate.

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

Business man reading 'Thinking Outside the Chair'

New must reading for the rising executive: '7 Habits of Highly Obsequious People.'

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

"On the plus side, you're on the cover of all the major business publications."

'Fortunately I'm a big guy.'

'It's good, but it's not good-to-go.'

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

Paradigm shifters company.

My, my, we're justs a little overprotective of our propriety knowledge, aren't we?

'No wonder the company is in trouble!'

'Looks like the cable merger is concentrating too much market in one telecommunications giant.'

"I can fit you into a small cubicle on the third floor if you think you can lose twenty pounds."

"Take my advice. I don't use it anyway."

'I just wish, he had been more direct...

"We're very sorry, Templeton."

'Anxiety drugs are driving up big pharma stocks, thanks to global armed conflict!'

'How's business? Still slow?'

'Instead of a bedtime story, I'm going to read you my company's report for the third quarter.'

"My greatest asset is my ability to tell you exactly what you want to hear."

The market must be up

"Competence? Education? Knowledge? Nonsense! What you really need the most to get promoted is a big pack of lubrication cream!"

"I delegated all my responsibilities, now there's nothing left to do."

'As part of the restructuring process, I want you to swap places.'

Boss at think tank says to employee: 'Your report falls prey to a trend we've identified as Consistent Repetition of Acronymic Piffle.'