Re-entering Dating Mugs

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

Life is for the birds.

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

Tasty.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'Don't be too sad. Sure, she was special, but there are plenty more fish in the sea.'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

'Nah! He's not my type.'

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

'So -- how did your date go? 'Lousy! -- She tried to impose her moral standards on me!'

"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"Careful Nora. There's nothing worse than a bad oyster!"

Dorothy and the singles bar

"Not on a first date! That's fine by me, I've been on lots of dates."

I always strike out on blind dates

"Why is it sooo difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking. . . ?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'

"This is the dumbest idea ever! I'm just gonna call Estella and ask her what's up."

He sounds like a hunk, his profile says bulky and athletic

"Actually, I'm not long back on the dating scene myself."