Re-entering Dating Scene Gifts

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

Ask Sadie! I'm 50, reasonably attractive and intelligent, but I haven't had a date in 19 years. How do I get back into the dating scene? - KC, Tacoma, WA** **actual reader question. KC, you've been out of the game for a bit, but don't be afraid to use the latest technology. First, find someone you like, then write them an email in which you explain your feelings. And threaten that if they refuse your overture, you'll dig into their past and expose their legal, personal and financial failings to

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Actually, I'm not long back on the dating scene myself."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

Tasty.

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

Alligator Bars

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"So, tell me, how many guys have you slept with?"

'Don't be too sad. Sure, she was special, but there are plenty more fish in the sea.'

"Huge fan."

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

'Nah! He's not my type.'

Dorothy and the singles bar

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"Not on a first date! That's fine by me, I've been on lots of dates."

I want to thank you for coming back to my place to see my etchings, Elaine, but I have a confession to make. I don't really have any etchings. I have an Etch-a-Sketch. !

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

Carol sensed some negative vibes from her date when he pulled out a laptop and began perusing other women's profiles.

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

'So -- how did your date go? 'Lousy! -- She tried to impose her moral standards on me!'

'There are plenty of fish in the sea and I just got myself some fresh bait!'