Razor Sharp Wit Pillows

Potato having a shave.

Accident with razor blades.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"I had a low birth weight but a high birthright."

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."

'YOU try shaving without a reflection sometime!'

Man's shaving razor is as tall as him. He says: 'I can't help thinking they should have stopped at three blades.'

"This new guy's really good!"

Taxes

'Wow, a sixty-four arrow quiver with built-in sharpener! I'm so jealous.' (First day at archery school.)

'Please sir - all of them!'

A group of hunters.

'They call me 'ka-ching'...I'm the go-to cash player.'

Shooting in Ireland

'Quick, Bensonhurst-Shaw, I need a bon mot for today's meeting.'

"Neither one of us wants any trouble."

"Is there a reason you haven't done any work?"

Hey! Your job is to retrieve them.'

'It's great, securing Paralympic sponsorship from a shaving company to promote their new five bladed razor...'

Shooting

"Minutes from now when you tweet about this - and you will - be kind."

Man with stubble that reads: 'Shave me.'

The only razor endorsed by CACTUS MAN!

'Prolonged space travel causes an astronaut's brain to float to the top of his skull."

Shaving Accidents

"Eagle Eye" Eddie would often ace his eye exams from the waiting room.

Lecture on dealing with hecklers-tongues sharpened while you wait.

"Wow, they're really good shots! I'm glad they're shooting at clay-pigeon targets..."