Rapture Ready Gifts

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

Zombie Problems

The End is Nigh

Prepper Dog

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

"Any sign of recovery yet?"

When a nanosecond is forever.

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows go

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

How to survive the coming crash.

"Every time Trump wins a primary, we get one step closer."

'No, Brian, an asteroid impact would never take us by surprise like it did the dinosaurs because we're highly intelligent and they were very stupid and dull-witted.'

The Circle.

She always had her flute... just in case.

"Actually, I will have fries with that."

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

'I've been carrying these placards around for over twenty years! It's about time!'

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'No, it's not the Rapture - The kids next door got a trampoline.'

Llamageddon and the Alpacalypse

An doomsayer stands at a waterfalls' edge.

"Your 401(k) is a low-risk investment, other than a few stocks that happen to finance the end of human civilization as we know it."

'My backup special...'

"Don't sweat the huge stuff."

"Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!"

'The end is near.'

"I've half a mind to protest."

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'