Rant Reader Pillows

You're my favorite twitterer. I love your angry rants and constipation. Wait here. Let's see you tweet. Luv my show, u losers! This was potential. Go on. Every1 stinks! 2 b continued: unholy alliance.

The Daily Fury

Letters escape from a caged book.

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

Fear of news.

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

'Social and political revolution? Check out our 'Do It Yourself' section.'

Man reading 'Bankruptcy for Dummies'.

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

"You'll find all the adult 'Dummies and Idiots' guide books in the children's section."

Moanathon.

Today 5 -7. Meet the eAuthor.

Castaway reading a magazine from a bottle

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

'Would sir like to start with the hors d'oeuvres, or just go to the main corpse?'

'Before we begin may I emit a prolonged rant about my work week?

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

Success Without Effort

"Feel free to imagine you might have any of the conditions you read about in the magazines."

I feel so helpless. Fuel price anger counseling – $25. The gas companies could charge me whatever they wanted and I couldn't do a darn thing about it. I'm utterly powerless – a pawn in some sick geopolitical game where I've got no options. What if I can't afford to drive my 6,000-ton SUV two blocks to the gym?!

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

Mao Zedong.

"You've really got to read this book, it's full of dynamite ideas!"

"They should open the files - Lenin never said all those crazy things attributed to him."

'I'm hoping he'll move onto another subject...'

'I thought I'd just crease a few book spines while I catch up on my soaps.'

"It gets seven out of ten on TripAdvisor."

Mayakovskiy V.V.

Tuesday is drunken rant night. The noncommissioned officer is the backbone of this man's army!!!