Rant Connoisseur Pillows

"'Stop kvetching'? Would you actually deny me my one remaining pleasure!"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Mayo-A-Mayo

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

"Me, my dream would be to attend the Cheery Blossom Festival in Japan..."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"Ah — excellent catsup."

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

Moliere

Charles Dickens.

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

Bleak House

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

La Dame aux Camelias

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Moanathon.

"Tonight... Hemingway."

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

"What pheromone are you using?"

"Stan is one of our great, widely unread literary treasures."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

"Hi honey, could you run by the bookstore on the way home? We're almost out of poetry."