Rant Affinity Gifts

'Before we begin may I emit a prolonged rant about my work week?

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

The Daily Fury

"Why 'Black Death'? Why not 'rodent-related'?"

Has socks and foot stools of every kind sale.

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

The Pied Piper is mobbed by fans.

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

'At least you're not going to have to worry about your denture adhesive anymore.'

Moanathon.

"Hang on a minute! This is not for us: he's bought himself a pet rat!"

Recollections of a Retired Butler

"If you ask me, you can't go wrong with this beautiful bouquet of marijuana."

Smiling rat.

The ultimate in rodent paradise.

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

'I can smell a rat, sergeant!'

A piece of modern art is labelled so that it is hung the right way up.

'Oh Steve! You had the dining area remodeled!'

"Play Misty for me."

Skunk in library reads from the '10 Best Smellers'.

"You never see a fish down here. I wonder if they know something we don't know."

"Can we get some better sconces in here, please?"

'Me' Weekly

"You're getting plenty of cardio. You should try some lifting."

"I think you'll find the cushions to be very soft sir!"

"Remind me again what it was about this couch that spoke to you."

Good clean fun...