Random Researcher Gifts

Google Magazine

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

2021

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

UK/US Free Trade Deal

Fear/Knowledge

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Meet the scribe"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

Burning the midnight oil.

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"Is it that bad?"

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'