Ramp Artist Gifts

Olympic skateboarding

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'You lifted your head.'

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Clown Face Painting

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

Texturing the Walls

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'Handyman's Special'

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

A man looking askance at a child on a tank-like skateboard

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

'Help!'

Long-legged clown...

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

Deforestation in Romania

Centaur: 'Oh BROTHER, there goes XENOS again! Always having to be the Centaur of attention!'

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'

A dog whose nose is a gun.

'A couple of trees, a few shrubs...it started just like any other atrium.'

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

"I see the radiator's Baroque again."