Rainy Day Humoristas Gifts

Two cleaners at the zoo. They are sheltering under a giraffe to get out of the rain.

I hate monday mornings.

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Reading in the rain.

Woman reading: 'How to look hot on the beach this summer.'

Holy Relics.

"Asides from today's wind-chill factor, what else might you consider all your parents' fault?"

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

'My mom said not to get water in my boots.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Boring Rainy Day Sitting Area.'

'Your turn to go for water. . .'

'He used to be my tiger, now he's nothing more than a skunk, a boar and a lying toad.'

'So, are we going for a walk or what?'

"Thank god our drinks are protected."

Noah's umbrellas

'A real gentleman always carries an umbrella!'

"Weekend forecast: wet and windy, with a 85% chance of Scrabble."

Airport Joust.

Raining men.

"They say 'April showers bring May flowers'. . . I just hope those flowers come with a life jacket!"

'Pa, we got gyped on those Holsteins - It's raining and their spots are running!'

Inconsiderate Umbrella Use

'Did you whistle?'

Fears

'This time it's really just a stick!'

"Nothing stinks like a wet dog."

'Honey, there's a 37% chance I'll be home for dinner at six and a 65% chance I'll be there after eleven!'

'If they sing row, row, row your boat one more time, I'm jumping ship!'

Wiper Swiper. A vagrant extorts money from motorist.

'Wasn't that Superman?'

"Just accompany me to the station and I promise to let you go,sir!"

"I'm tired - let's call it tall enough."

"Make sure I’m in your will or pay someone else to shovel the driveway."