Rainy Day Comedians Gifts

Raining

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

Woman reading: 'How to look hot on the beach this summer.'

Two cleaners at the zoo. They are sheltering under a giraffe to get out of the rain.

"Asides from today's wind-chill factor, what else might you consider all your parents' fault?"

Holy Relics.

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument

Uninhabital USA.

"You have your emotional support animal and I have mine."

'Your turn to go for water. . .'

Cow Fishing on the mighty tundra.

'A real gentleman always carries an umbrella!'

"Thank god our drinks are protected."

'-and to all you night owls out there...'

'I think maybe they should move opening day until it's warmer.'

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

Noah's umbrellas

"CCCOOOLD!"

"Solar diet."

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

"Weekend forecast: wet and windy, with a 85% chance of Scrabble."

The stages of winter

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

Song Parody on cold weather.

You've renamed your small coffee? It's called a big now. That's absurd! It's the same size - the smallest size! It's marketing hooey! Why not call this napkin a scone?! Careful. Huh? Brilliant! Sale on scones! Oh dear.

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...