Railway Designer Gifts

Kangaroo sits on Australian state border scratching it's head at the train tracks that are different sizes.

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'Anorak anoraks'.

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

'He's made an eco-friendly bamboo bike... unfortunately all the tomato plants have fallen down.'

HS2

"Is this the Canterbury Train?"

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

"We've been working all the live-long fiscal year to get these numbers up, but I'm afraid some of us are working just to pass the time away."

HS2 time bomb...

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

L.A. Transfer

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

'Nice smile.'

The Train to Nowhere

A train's dining car is a diner.

Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

"It's redesigned to handle rolling over."

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

"Keep in mind it's only a concept at this point."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

'Apparently she looks stunning naked'

Railway 'King' George Hudson

"Conjoined twins were born in a bed on a passenger train. They were separated at berth."

What Holds the Subway Together?

The 6.06 to Brighton overshoots the buffers

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

Build bridges, not walls. Unless it's housing. Then it's better to build walls.

Pound sign on rail tracks.

Railway Map of England (A Prophecy)