Railroading Pillows

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

...the all-terrain skateboard.

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

A trevor of trainspotters

'Have you been waiting long?'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

The next fast train has gone.

Run from the hills!

HS2

Man on psychiatrist's couch: 'It was a cry for help, really - I tried to slash my wrists with rollerblades.'

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

"We've been working all the live-long fiscal year to get these numbers up, but I'm afraid some of us are working just to pass the time away."

Roadrunner. Offroadrunner.

HS2 time bomb...

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

S**t Creek Halt

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

'A beaver wearing a mountie hat riding a moose! Still think we haven't crossed into Canada?'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

Coupler Counselling

Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."