Railroading Pillows

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

...the all-terrain skateboard.

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

A trevor of trainspotters

'Have you been waiting long?'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

The next fast train has gone.

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

Man on psychiatrist's couch: 'It was a cry for help, really - I tried to slash my wrists with rollerblades.'

HS2

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

Run from the hills!

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

S**t Creek Halt

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

HS2 time bomb...

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

'A beaver wearing a mountie hat riding a moose! Still think we haven't crossed into Canada?'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

Coupler Counselling

Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

A car parked dreams of driving in the woods.