Rage Gardener Gifts

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Prize vegetables.

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

So Close..

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Gardener attacked by plants.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Pumpkin patch

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Doing the borders.

Gardener

Plant Lady

"First time pruning?"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Watering Money

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

I guess she had other plans for you.

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Rose Garden

Yardless: Please help