Radiology Raconteur Pillows

'Welcome to Jiffy Scan. Do you want crayons and coloring pages?'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

X-RAY

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

'Are you blind ref?'

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

Telecommuting doesn't hold up well during team building trust exercises.

'He seems cranky, but his heart is in the right place -- we gave him an MRI to be sure.'

"I don't like the looks of that Spot on your lung."

"I'll need a three iron."

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

"Judging by your X-rays, I'd say you've been exposed to too much radiation."

'As you can see, the CAT scan of your brain turned up positive.'

Food Blog

How Platypuses Are Born

X-ray of body shows skull.

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'

Surprised doctor looking at man standing behind X-Ray machine with the image saying: SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE.

'Your X-Rays are here. . . beautiful high-resolution!'

"And then I said 'Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!' Ha, ha!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

Watercooler moments weren't quite the same since Norman started working from home.

'I don't see the problem.'

Tunnel of Anxiety

Reverse Shadow (Rontgen's X-Ray).

According to your blog, there have been some pretty amazing things going on in your life lately, Lance. I can make my blog either accurate or interesting ... I can't make it both.