
'A sure-win radio talk show. People phone in with questions on existence and reality, and you respond with total silence.'
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'A sure-win radio talk show. People phone in with questions on existence and reality, and you respond with total silence.'
"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."
"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."
Ask Sadie is back. You're on, caller. What's your problem? My wife finally answered my emails. She wants me back. She says she's sorry she left me for her personal trainer. She said making mad, passionate love to him has become unfulfilling. She said she's tired of the excitement, tired of his fancy house, tired of the lavish trips around the world, and tired of him not snoring like a jackhammer, like I always do. Let go and move on, you ninny!!! She said she's especially tired of his ability to
The Sadie Cohen Radio Hour with Sidekick Rudy Park. We've got a great show. I'm spending all day berating my nerdy loser sidekick! If you don't die of old age. Materialistic, consumerist boob! Smelly old luddite! Forgive me Glenn Beck, but you've got nothin' on these freaks. iPhone kisser! Edsel lover!
Ask Sadie. Sadie, when are you going to stop fighting it and admit your passionate love for Rudy? Signed, Conrad. *Actual reader letter. Who let this question in? I want my producers fired, then fileted, then fired again, and then run down by a car filled with clowns. Seems a little defensive there, Snookums. Clown car!
"Are there people who don't live in London?"
"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"
"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."
"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."
"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."
"Now we move over to the sports desk."
Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don
"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."
Fishermen
"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"
'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'
The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!
Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um
Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).
Non Thought For The Day.
'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'
Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.
Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.
LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID MAMET
"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."
"So—who are you angry at currently?"
Jerry Springer of biblical times.
Letterman Show: 'He's always been at my side...the one consonant in my life...'
You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Super delegates. A candidate could win the most votes in the primaries but lose anyway of the superdelegates want someone else! Can you believe that? Oh stop yer sniveling. In my day, the parties chose candidates in smoke-filled backrooms without even pretending the people get a vote. At least this charade gets you out of the house. Gets the blood pumping. I guess.
Dr. Phil takes it home.
Obama: The Other White Meat
You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.
Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.
The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.
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