Racket Destroyers Pillows

'You're right - I never liked that racket either!'

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

Ratminton

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

The Off-Season

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

'Big advantage!!'

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

"Whaddya mean line ball? The ball was out! O.U.T.! You blind or something?"

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

'It's an old badminton injury.'

"Now if he'll just swallow one more paddle we'll be set."

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

'Let's practice lobs again.'

'That's 12 games in a row. As my best friend, it wouldn't kill you to let me win one every once in awhile.'

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

'for what we are about to receive...'

'He wasn't too keen on you returning his serves.'

"Umm. . . Hello? I'm over here!"

Lawyers Playing Tennis

"How do you respond to critics who say you only play the backcourt?"

'The swelling well receed in a few days and the racket should slide right off.'

Wordplay

"Care to make it interesting?"