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"I need to tinkle."

"Eat my dust!"

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

'God's speed.'

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'

Cheesie Rider

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

'I win!'

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

F1 - Quit Smoking.

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'Stress'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

"On your mark! Get set!"

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

The relay race

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

'So, the egg WAS first.'

Grim reaper ambulance

"Race you to the corner! Last one there is an expired egg substitute!"

'It was HIS fault, he was doing the SPEED LIMIT!'

Finish line extended 20 miles.

Cars at the drive in.

'It's the parents' 4x4x400 metres.'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

"It's their big annual event—the Run for the Roses."

The Horse Races