Racing Chiclets Gifts

Baby Race.

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Snail Coach

Fricka arrives.

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

Things were going extremely well until last night's chilli reared its ugly head.

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

"Show some appreciation when he comes home: he spends his days in a small cubicle staring at numbers on the screen. He puts up with a lot in order to feed us."

'The blooming thing took a wrong turn off the course.'

'The Greyhound, Doctor, is the fastest dog in the world!...'

"The Hare's demanding a dope test !"

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

Tres chic

'How did it go at the track today, dear?'

A man carves a totem pole

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

Tortoise being tested for performance enhancing drugs.

Sculptor: 'Okay, SMILE!'

'Well, if you need me to put it into 'layman's terms' maybe you should be talking to someone with a lower IQ.'

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

Chick stands in front of bookshelf marked 'chick lit'

Biggest Hat Award

"Never mind showing him the fence, show him the winning post."

Hardly Likely.

'Where are the jockey shorts?'

'Well this could be a problem.'

'Faster, our past is catching up with us!'

Tortoise eats spinach in order to compete with hare.

"Just passed the post - sadly not first, but last in the previous race!"

"Can I return this, please? You sold me a chic-lit-rom-com, and I distinctly remember asking for a plain chic-lit."

'Oh no. Looks like another split crew.'

'On your mark...'