Chisel Champ Gifts

Sculptor: 'Okay, SMILE!'

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

A man carves a totem pole

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

The Sculptor

Sculptor's chippings

"Show some appreciation when he comes home: he spends his days in a small cubicle staring at numbers on the screen. He puts up with a lot in order to feed us."

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Monkey casino study.

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

My music gave me a grade of F sharp.

Sculpting

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

Sculptor with falling rocks sign.

"When I finally got my own car, I never drove over the speed limit."

"What setting do I use for this?"

Rodin's Block

Caution Falling Rocks

"Sure I won the spelling bee contest, but since everyone has spell check, no one cares!"

"Love them rays, Chief."

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

The First Tattoo

Sculptor - "Try not to blink."

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'

Little known evolutionary steps.

"'Wash the Car'? Isn't that nepotism?"

"Waiter, these chopsticks are not cooperating."

'I hate Mondays!'

'Tsk!'

'I can't wait for the 2012 'Limpets' to begin...!'

I told you, when you chisel a statue, start at the top.