Race-goer Gifts

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

'My feet are killing me.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

A day at the races

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"Eat my dust!"

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

Danger Slow Sand.

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!

Women in a cross country race

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

Palin 2012

Man running

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'

Tractor Racing

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"Exercise stroller moms can sure be competitive."

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

F1 - Quit Smoking.

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'Stress'

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

Grim reaper ambulance

"Race you to the corner! Last one there is an expired egg substitute!"

He won't stop talking about being the fastest ever. He's a broken record about breaking a record.

The relay race