Match-goer Gifts

The keen cricket fan

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Official Team Cap With Beard

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

Football player has head instead of ball.

'We're in a hurry.'

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

Football fans in corona times

A Not So Grand Slam.

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

He said nothing about being cremated before his remains were scattered on the pitch.

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

"Football concussion - one beer too many at the game, and I fell off my seat."