Race Day Strategists Pillows

Remember - this time we trot!

A day at the races

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Sloth 10K.

Smile

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'What a control freak!'

'Storm'

'That Brown bears watching!'

Bradley Wiggins

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'Talk to my lawyer.'

Loser's Podium.

Get a life

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with sports.'

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."

'Well, did you win or what?'

The Tortoise and the Herring. Triathlon. I always knew that I'd pass him after the swimming portion of the race.

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

"A four-year, $60 million contract and he can't even do a decent end-zone dance!"

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

Race Horses See Big People.

The Tortoise and NASCAR.

"She's a little overworked but, depending on what happens next Sunday, I'll probably jump back on."

The baseball players psychiatrist.

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

Hurdles with Steps

"I can't believe we forgot to pack the car."

'Would you believe we forgot to put anything in the contract about him actually playing football?'

'Ha! Fake out!'