Race Strategist Pillows

Winning tactics

"I've taken up a new hobby, I'm into racing pigeons."

The Tortoise and the Herring. Triathlon. I always knew that I'd pass him after the swimming portion of the race.

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

The 42nd annual City marathon (a guy in a car waiting for the start).

Hare using a TV to motivate the Tortoise.

The president's men

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"What was I thinking?!"

Israel/Palestine Conflict

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

Tariff Wars

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

The Other Cooperstown

The Greek Trampoline

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

Trump Will Protect Obama's Legacy

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

"I love fast break business success."

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"