Race Strategist Pillows

Winning tactics

"I've taken up a new hobby, I'm into racing pigeons."

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

The 42nd annual City marathon (a guy in a car waiting for the start).

Hare using a TV to motivate the Tortoise.

The president's men

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"What was I thinking?!"

Israel/Palestine Conflict

Tariff Wars

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

The Greek Trampoline

The Other Cooperstown

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

"I love fast break business success."

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"