Race Day Rebel Pillows

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

'Honestly! You'd do anything to win the Community Balloon Race, wouldn't you?'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Smile

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

First past the post.

100k Desert Crawl

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

A souped up car...

'Would you mind terribly taking up some other sport besides long-distance running?'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Loser's Podium.

Get a life

'Well, did you win or what?'

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

"It's only a 2-k race, but in the 10 years we've sponsored it, nobody's ever finished."

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

"You know... this would be as good a time as any to rotate the tyres."

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

'Someone complained to management about our long coffee breaks.'

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

"Hi, Mum, I'm last in the race, but I do have the best mobile."

Fireman chasing the olympic flame.

Stop the world. I want to get off again.