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Money Tree

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

"We finally found a way to bottle enthusiasm."

"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

'We haven't the foggiest what it does,but it plugs into a computer and retails for three fifity.'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Innovate' and 'Out of Date'

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

math faculty

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

Illogic Tree

'I told you this game had realistic graphics.'

I got the raise

Research, Development and Second Thoughts

"Gnork invented the wheel, Shnorz invented the hand axe, and my genius paints lines and circles. . . what do you want to do with it? Maybe building something where you can look at cat pictures? Hahaha!"

"I'd like you to consider some of our exciting career opportunities working for anyone else but me."

"Looks like something exciting is happening in R&D."

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

Social Networks

"As you insist everything must be in triplicate, meet my new secretaries."

"And I can install the latest version of Microsoft as well as Word and 17 other applications!"

"Goodbye, masked consultant. And thanks for reducing our inefficiencies."