R&d Employee Gifts

'This is the department of staying ahead of the curve...you want the bureau of thinking outside the box.'

"Tell R&D that I'm going to reinstate their benefits - quick!"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Creative department

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

Research and Development: Now, Never.

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."

"We finally found a way to bottle enthusiasm."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'No no Mr. Peters, you are not being outsourced. You are being virtualised in 'the cloud'.'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Innovate' and 'Out of Date'

'We haven't the foggiest what it does,but it plugs into a computer and retails for three fifity.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"What the hell sort of convenient new feature is this?"

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

Money Tree

'I got a job working for Google Earth.'

Sales Research shows it's too big for them to carry home, sir.

"R&D really created a miracle drug this time...at least it's been miraculous for our bottom line!"

Inventing Time Travel

'If this elixir works, I see an over-the-counter version in three years.'

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

Research, Development and Second Thoughts