Quitting Strategist T-Shirts

He had tried many ways to quit smoking but only one worked

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

Sad boss: "This one pretty much sums it up."

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

Facebookie - Odds on boss catching you wasting time

Trapeze artist leaves sign saying 'I quit'!

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

"I told him that I was leaving, that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork...he asked me to fill out an exit report!"

Letter of Resignation

When Dick quit, he walked off with the company Slushy fund!'

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

"Does it come in menthol?"

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

"Cutting off the nose to spite the face."

Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, Post-Touchdown Choreographer

"I think it's time I left Mr. Right!"

'I need a cure for smoking, doc.'

'Anyone who doesn't believe in life after death, should be around here at quitting time.'

Lead Duck With Evil Plans

"I want out!"

The Patch.

'Don't think of it as leftovers -- think of it as a mopping-up operation.'

"Best idea for a name I've had for years!"

'After you stop smoking you're supposed to eat more, not drink more.'

Boss, what's the best way to break up with someone without hurting her feelings? Hush money. What? Offer the dumpee a cashier's check for $5,000 on the condition she refrains from having hurt feelings. If she just can't do that, then you should be compassionate and offer her a $1,000 check as long as she agrees not to burden you with her hurt feelings. Very bad man. Compassion is an essential component of any severance package.

'It's not you, it's me.'

"I gave up smoking to annoy my wife by living longer."

'What if I want to stop? Where's the pause button?'

'No, I didn't start smoking again! That's chimney you smell!'

I'm going to prescribe a nicotine patch. I want you to put it on your forehead so you'll stop thinking of smoking.