Quirky Wordplay Lover Pillows

"I'm keeping 'up' distance... there's a reason they are called DROPlets."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Staff support"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Gay Times...

Vlad the Inhaler

Wok. Don't Wok.

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Punt Cake

Please Drove Carefully.

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"Out damn Spot

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Cake Free Zone

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Privates Beach"