Lover Of Word Play Pillows

'Frankly, when you asked me if I'd like to play a round, this isn't what I thought you had in mind.'

Man walking into fake Convenience store

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Staff support"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Vlad the Inhaler

Wok. Don't Wok.

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Please Drove Carefully.

Gay Times...

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Punt Cake

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"Out damn Spot

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Privates Beach"