Lover Of Word Play Pillows

'Frankly, when you asked me if I'd like to play a round, this isn't what I thought you had in mind.'

Man walking into fake Convenience store

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Staff support"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Vlad the Inhaler

Wok. Don't Wok.

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Please Drove Carefully.

Punt Cake

Gay Times...

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"Out damn Spot

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Privates Beach"

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."