Quirky Wedding Planner Pillows

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'He always said he loved fireworks but I didn't think he would take it this far.'

"Remember, bring it all back within two weeks and I'll refund your deposit."

"You may now fist pump the bride."

Cake Escape

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'The response is 'I do.' Not 'Whatever she says.''

Wedding cake figures having marital problems.

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

"If anyone thinks the bride could do better, speak now or..."

"If you're not doing anything after work, come by the conference room. We're going to be cracking open some beers and throwing some burgers on the copier."

Dad said that if he's paying for the wedding, he's entitled to a little something.

Internet wedding - 'Apparently, you get a 40% discount if you marry on-line...'

Murder on the Newlywed Game.

New Year's eve plans!

"Has anybody seen the groom?"

'I bet you thought I'd forgotten our anniversary.'

A dog party using toilet water and a toilet as their version of a Punchbowl.

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

"What what of all the dates I couldn't save, Jimmy."

"And so, by the ventriloquism powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife."

'What will it cost me for you to elope?'

"I can't believe you forgot your death certificate."

I see they're going for the traditional festivities.

'I'm practicing carrying you over the threshold for our honeymoon night.'

In it for the long haul.

"Oh! You gave me such a start."