Quirky Ceremony Planner Pillows

The First Aero Wedding

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"You'll do."

Bad Office Planning

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

'The response is 'I do.' Not 'Whatever she says.''

'She'll have a nasty sugar hangover tomorrow.'

"If you're not doing anything after work, come by the conference room. We're going to be cracking open some beers and throwing some burgers on the copier."

Internet wedding - 'Apparently, you get a 40% discount if you marry on-line...'

'They make a deal out of promoting someone around here.'

"You said to hire a face painter and I did! Bill is a mortician!"

New Year's eve plans!

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

SOARING BILL

Murder on the Newlywed Game.

'I bet you thought I'd forgotten our anniversary.'

'We'll parachute in and surprise them with their sales award.'

A dog party using toilet water and a toilet as their version of a Punchbowl.

O'Leary's Monuments

"I can't believe you forgot your death certificate."

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

'Happy Birthday To You...'

In Sickness And In Hell

'I just don't think it appropriate to have your old divorce lawyer as your best man.'

"Great party."

First, get an official marriage certificate, and I'll be happy to perform the ceremony.