Whimsical Wedding Planner Pillows

'For our wedding I wanted to ask you if you would be a broomsman?'

They were married on a Tuesday at 3 a.m., on a beach, in the middle of winter. A marriage of inconvenience.

First, get an official marriage certificate, and I'll be happy to perform the ceremony.

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"You'll do."

'The response is 'I do.' Not 'Whatever she says.''

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am a 24-year-old man. The woman I am about to marry is having second thoughts because she believes that we are too young. What do you think? - Jacob. Actual reader letter. Great question. When is the right time to marry? Randy, our commitment expert, would you like to handle this one? Jacob, really, what were you expecting?! Medic! Randy's not moving.

Wedding cake figures having marital problems.

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

"If anyone thinks the bride could do better, speak now or..."

Dad said that if he's paying for the wedding, he's entitled to a little something.

Witch uses broom from broom share program.

Internet wedding - 'Apparently, you get a 40% discount if you marry on-line...'

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

"Brilliant idea of yours,darling-only inviting no-sweet tooths!"

"Has anybody seen the groom?"

Murder on the Newlywed Game.

'I'll get into the garbage, Whiskers here will wreck the sofa, and you - you'll drive the getaway castle.'

'I hope you don't mind carpooling.'

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'

Fly-drive

I see they're going for the traditional festivities.

'It could be the wedding of the century!'

Giraffe helping with a date.

'I'm practicing carrying you over the threshold for our honeymoon night.'

"I can't believe you forgot your death certificate."

"Bert's Bakery? I think there's a pissed-off Bucks Party somewhere, standing around our wedding cake."

"So this is your plan B?!"

I'm looking for a guy who's willing to take things to the next level: the Sunday funnies. ! !