Quirky Theme Enthusiast T-Shirts

Congressionally Mandated Themes For The Daytime Talk Shows

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

The devil you know and his plus one

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Football Crazy strip six

Rogue elephant

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

CW 'Text' Yomp Sidekicks: Attorneys-at-law,

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

Carnations.

"Butt cracker"

'Are there any new species more efficient than neons, such as compact fluorescents or LEDs?'

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"Great coaching is about emphasising the positive...."

"It won the award this year for aggravating the most architects."

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

"Good idea. Bad execution."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

'I caught this one while fishing off of a bridge in Venice.'

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DECOR

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

Spaceman with a vacuum cleaner in space

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

Have you seen this toaster?

'Uh, nich tchotchkes, sir.'

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

'It helps to be a little crazy to work here, but you're overqualified.'

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.

'A most powerful, moving and scary book - botanists will love it!'

One size fits all

"The artist, in the main, painted ships although he did go through a brief 'toilet' phase..."