Quirky Theme Enthusiast Pillows

Congressionally Mandated Themes For The Daytime Talk Shows

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

The devil you know and his plus one

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Football Crazy strip six

Rogue elephant

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

CW 'Text' Yomp Sidekicks: Attorneys-at-law,

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

Carnations.

'What's wrong with you?'

"Butt cracker"

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

'Are there any new species more efficient than neons, such as compact fluorescents or LEDs?'

"Great coaching is about emphasising the positive...."

"It won the award this year for aggravating the most architects."

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DECOR

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

Unfinished business.

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

Have you seen this toaster?

'I caught this one while fishing off of a bridge in Venice.'

"Good idea. Bad execution."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

'Uh, nich tchotchkes, sir.'

Spaceman with a vacuum cleaner in space

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

'It helps to be a little crazy to work here, but you're overqualified.'

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.

'A most powerful, moving and scary book - botanists will love it!'

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