Quirky Spirits Pillows

"What are we?"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

Skateboard Sidewalk Surfer

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

'I think we've done it, Igor! This will be the hot new sports drink of the summer!'

'Not one customer all day! What's the matter with this corner?'

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

I WRITE FOR THOSE/WHO STARE OUT WINDOWS/WITH LITTLE HAIR ON THEIR TOES

'Rotgut whiskey is much more festive served with a paper umbrella, don't you think?'

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

Good Luck

"They misspelled your avatar."

Teapot

'He's with a creditor right now. Can I get him to call you back?'

The fact he was a neutered housecat never stood in the way of Mr. Whiskers' dream.

Joker in jail

Absent Friends Reunited.

"New York is a place of free spirits."

Man on his way to heaven passes a sign "Heaven" up "Street Theatre" down

the Lesser-known Nogs

Happy St. Patrick's Day from Blarney the Dinosaur.

Egg Tattoos

'Film extras drinks night'

Sign on a liquor shop decorated for Christmas that reads "Give the gift of alcohol".

Giamatti: Full-bodied, with subtle hints of chicory, chocolate, and feet.

What, you've never seen coffee with a worm in it? The Too-Early Bird.

"Your martini, sir, with iceberg lettuce."

"It's the story of my life: A round peg in a square pants family!"

"I put mud in the Dung Beetles lunch, you should have seen their faeces."

'She's 24'-24'-24' but she has BIG blue eyes.'

We're diversifying. Behold: chicken eggnog!

'And you're really sure this tanning equipment is safe?'

Dog drinking 'water with a hint of toilet limescale.'