Quirky Soul Pillows

'And you're really sure this tanning equipment is safe?'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Hey, I keep putting quarters in the meter, don't I?"

Alien in a hairdresser's.

'I'm nobody's best friend, I'm an Indie.'

'She's 24'-24'-24' but she has BIG blue eyes.'

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

The Zoo.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'The Questioner'

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

In case of funky emergency, break glass

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

Real Estate Personals

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"This next song is also about air-conditioning."

Bald man with a brush on his head

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"What does it all mean?"

"Nah. I'm a crow. Some jerk put bleach in the birdbath."

I WRITE FOR THOSE/WHO STARE OUT WINDOWS/WITH LITTLE HAIR ON THEIR TOES

"We're not all grim you know - I'm a happy reaper."

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

'Yeah, but I'd like to be led into temptation just once, to see how I'd do.'

Conductor and Quasimodo.

"I understand how I was born; I want to know why."

The fact he was a neutered housecat never stood in the way of Mr. Whiskers' dream.

"New York is a place of free spirits."

Pumpkin Painting

Man on his way to heaven passes a sign "Heaven" up "Street Theatre" down