Quirky Sentencing Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I got your sentence reduced from tar and feathers to molasses and confetti!'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

Sketches by Boz - A Pickpocket Being Wheelbarrowed to Police Station

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

Special Place in Hell...

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

'Your honor, for personal reasons, my client would prefer to wait in his car while the verdict is being read.'

Hanging Judge

'You must have doubts because even I don't know if my client is innocent or guilty.'

'Sorry, Mr. Weinbaum, but you should have said 'Simon says not guilty.''

Trump in a prison cell.

"It would have been a no-fault divorce if the judge wasn't happily married for 30 years!"

"What?"

"Great news, Phil! The governor has determined that you don't have a high enough I.Q. to merit execution."

Attorney Vending Services: In Case of Litigation.

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

"Governor just called with a reprieve!...But it's only, wait, did you not change the clock back?""

'The prisons are full, so we're going to chain you to a mailbox.'

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'The first time it was a fine. Second time, fine and probation. Third time...'

'I didn't get a fair trial, my judge owned the house I burgled.'

'The next case, Your Honor, is Elmer B. Galsworthy versus just about everybody else.'

"That's blind loyalty for you."

"When the game warden isn't looking, plant this little gun on the duck."

"I couldn't find a nail file, like you asked, so I brought you some nail polish and lip gloss instead."

'The hair shirt is sufficient. You don't have to shave with a hedgehog.'

He was a man of strong convictions - Sing Sing 3 to 5, Leavenworth 6 to 12.

'That's what I like about Jeremiah - NOTHING gets him down!'

'Can you loan me five bucks until I get out and pull a job?'

'The police brutality I can take, but those social workers....'

'...Plus an additional 5 years for parking your getaway car in my reserved space!'