Quirky Sense Of Humor Fans Pillows

"After a thousand years you may receive a questionnaire on the quality of my torture. So if for any reason you think you can't give me all tens, please let me know."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"You left this on our ship."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

Theatre Masks and Butts

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Fresh pepper?"

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Introducing...Anagraman.

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'Check out the old dude.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

The Pencil and Sharpener